I was reading some breast cancer stories today. The one thing that struck me was being a survivor after umpteen years. I have a very hard time thinking of having cancer in that way. I see it as being something I’m gong to get rid of, like a hernia or tubal pregnancy. I have it. I’m having it fixed. Then it’s gone. I can see myself saying “oh ya, I had cancer.” I don’t see myself saying I’m a cancer survivor after umpteen years.
Month: June 2011
the start
I went for a mammogram, ultra sound and needle biopsy all on June 15th. The techs in the office definitely gave me more information than they should have once they realized I wasn’t going to freak out, but I knew anyhow that I had breast cancer. June 16th was my birthday. The cancer was confirmed on June 24th 2011. Appointment to get the ball rolling with the surgeon is July 5th.
I’m nervous, scared, overwhelmed anxious. I don’t see the big ‘C’ as being a death sentence, I don’t see myself as dying from it at all. I’m one of many in my family who got chosen to be a cancer statistic. They are survivors as I will be too. But it is Cancer. It’s serious. And it can be deadly. And it is going to change my life.
What I’ve noticed the most is the way other people are reacting to the news. I’m getting everything from being ignored to overwhelmed with kindness and kid-gloves. I just want to be treated the same as usual. I understand why that may be hard for some people. I’ve let it be known that I’ll talk about it if I’m asked and share what I can. I don’t want other people to be afraid of me because of IT. This cancer is not going to own me, I am going to own it. By talking, it loses it’s big fat scarey self and becomes something I can manage and am less afraid of. I wish others saw it that way
Connie's Breast Cancer Journey 