My sister took me for my radiation appointments in Victoria on the 27th. The plan was to go to the museum when we got there but it was too late. We took the ferry because I hate going over the Malahat.

The 28th I had the radiology oncologist appointment at 11:30. The radiating pain I’ve had around my right ribs is probably caused by the tumour pressing into my spine and spinal cord. He said that’s usually how it starts.

CT appointment was at 12:30 to map my right ankle and spine then back to the hotel for an hour.

Radiation was supposed to be at 3:30 but didn’t happen until about 4:45, they were waiting for the CT map. Got my ribs done and hearing the sound of the radiation warning kicked in my fight or flight. Took them a while to get my ankle set up. They’d tape it to my other foot and it came unstuck twice. They finally taped it around the table. By the time I heard the radiation noise again I was a mess. Got out of there and into the parking lot and was just vibrating. Adrenaline rush had kicked in. Took about a half hour to get my body to calm down. Then back to the hotel.

Went to the museum to see T-Rex Sue then to the ferry. My cousin would laugh because we were the first car they stopped loading and had to miss a ferry. Got home later than planned.

The decision to do this, the discomfort from the trip, the day long appointments, the anxiety, sleeping in a strange bed, being on steroids again….all of it is exhausting. I woke up yesterday feeling like I was getting bronchitis but I feel better today.

My sister was awesome, couldn’t have done it without her. I’m hoping I don’t have to do it again. Glad to be home.

I got called yesterday with dates for radiation. One day for oncology visit and CT and the next day for radiation on my ankle. Then they’d book 5 days for my spine. Uh uh. No. When I was talking to the dr last we’d agreed on one day of radiation. They had the dr call me to make sure I understood the pros and cons of only doing one day on my spine. Considering that my body is riddled with tumours that aren’t going to shrink on their own or go away, I’m fine with one day.

My sister and I will go down to Victoria on December 27th. All my appointments, including the radiation, will happen on the 28th and we’ll come home on the 29th.

Not stressing about it all is going to be impossible. I hope the tumour doesn’t outdo the timeline and I make a lousy passenger.

3 days ago my good hip turned bad. It hurts as much as my other hip used to. Problem now is that navigating on my knee scooter is harder. The bad hip now is on the same side as my bad ankle.

To use the knee scooter, I put the knee with the bad ankle on the bench and use my other leg to motor around, putting pressure on my knee. Now every time I lift my pushing leg, I get severe pain in my hip. It’s also hard to move around in bed. I’ve been popping pain pills at least once a day because of it. Today the pain is only ramping up to a 5 instead of a 7 that it’s been. I’m hoping it just goes away.

I talked to the radiology oncologist today. Answered umpteen questions about my health history and medications. Apparently I have COPD. Not that I know of and no I’m not on a puffer for it. I’m not short of breath either.

He gave me an option of 5 days or 1. It may not last as long, it’s less durable than 5 days, but I’m opting for 1. He didn’t have to go over the side effects, been there, done that. He’s also going to do my ankle. Maybe I’ll be able to walk again, even if it’s only a few steps.

He wants me to take the steroids that I still have an hour before my appointment. I’m not looking forward to that.

I’m now waiting for the booking clerk to call me with a date.

I got in touch with Victoria today. My Radiology Oncologist is away. Her replacement is calling me Thursday and I’ll find out if radiation is possible for my back and when it’ll happen.

I have so much anxiety around this that I’m going to have to overcome. Not only does the trip itself cause me a lot of anxiety because I truly hate being a passenger, but it’s also going to, at the very least make me physically uncomfortable, but could put me over the edge pain-wise. I think I’d be stupid not to give myself one more chance at having an extra couple of months more time.