My GPO appointment today was with my original one. What a change from the others I’ve been seeing. She listened and offered up suggestions instead of just nodding and offering platitudes.

The pain in my leg and the swelling of my foot has a name. My sacroilliac joint is screwed up. She pressed on a spot on my pelvis and I about went through the floor. I’m to do home exercises for now. Possibly physiotherapy if the exercises don’t work. This is also not helping my ankle heal properly when my healing powers are not very good anymore.

She agrees that with the increase in my tumour markers (30 points in a month) that IV chemo is next. Not looking forward to it. Will find out more on the 1st when I talk to my oncologist.

She’s concerned about my weight loss. Guess it’s worse than I thought. I’ve dropped about 8 pounds this month. My appetite is just not there. I sometimes forget I’m on chemo because they’re pills and they will have the same affect as IV chemo. She gave me a handout as well as discussed tricks to get me eating again.

And finally…for the amount of pain I’m in (her words), she expects me to be taking up to 12mg of hydromorphone a day instead of the occasional pill. I’ll have to work on that.

So there. Feels good to be listened to and treated like a person.

This is my bloodwork, GPO, pick up drugs week. It’s getting harder and harder to get through these weeks. Even if they usually only happen every 4 weeks. CT scans and bone scans get thrown into the mix for added stress and PTSD-like anxiety.

Bloodwork was today and I begged for a butterfly needle. Explained that I’ve been doing this at least once every 4 weeks for 5 years. My veins suck, not only is there scar tissue, but they zigzag. I’m now on blood thinners and am soooo tired of being jabbed and poked 2 or 3 time just for 3 tubes of blood. He argued with me, but did end up getting a butterfly. Insert rolling my eyes here because even with that he had to wiggle the stupid thing around. Why can’t they just believe us?

My GPO appointment is tomorrow and is supposed to be with my original GPO. Who knows who I’ll get this time.

I have a bone scan on the 25th and an added blood draw in the mix, before my oncology phone appointment on November 1st.

To top it all off, since I took the air cast off, my hip has been screwing up. Almost like I have a pinched nerve. Sometimes the pain runs from my pelvis to my foot, other times I feel like I’ve got a charlie-horse at the back of my thigh. And my foot swells up(it’s done this before and no one has been able to tell me what causes it). You got it! The same foot as the broken ankle! I’ve spend quite a few days in bed because then it doesn’t hurt as much. Luckily the last 3 or 4 days have been manageable. Wouldn’t be able to do these appointments if it wasn’t.

….and I miss my mom. A lot. The closer it gets to the day she died, the more hollow and empty I feel. To the point that I’d trade anything to be able to spend one more day with her. It’s really hard to live without a mom-hug, even when I lived away from her and it was only virtual.