It’s been a good week. Went out for dinner with some of my family for my birthday and was given some great gifts.

Had my second COVID vaccine.

Was reminded about the “spoon theory” from a blog post of a fellow MBCer. You can read about it here https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/. Reading it again reminded me why I get so tired. I figured out a long time ago that I would only be able to do one major thing a day. This means a shopping trip, cleaning house, visiting etc. If I did more than that, I got too tired. And incredibly frustrated. Reading about the spoons again helped me make sense of the why and some of the frustration has gone away.

Fatigue is one of the symptoms that many cancer patients experience from treatment. In my case, this feeling of fatigue has been with me for a very long time.

The best explanation I’ve come across is from the Mayo Clinic that describes being tired compared to unrelenting fatigue as this: “Nearly everyone is overtired or overworked from time to time. Such instances of temporary fatigue usually have an identifiable cause and a likely remedy. Unrelenting exhaustion, on the other hand, lasts longer, is more profound and isn’t relieved by rest. It’s a nearly constant state of weariness that develops over time and reduces your energy, motivation and concentration. Fatigue at this level impacts your emotional and psychological well-being, too.”

That about sums it up. Also explains why my energy is gone before noon and why as much sleep as I can get doesn’t make a difference. I’ve only been able to unpack one or two boxes a day before I am just too tired to do more. At this rate, I may be done by the end of summer 🙂

I moved back to my hometown on Monday. It took many months of talking myself into it for many reasons. In the end, my family took over. All I really had to do was give my notice where I was, and prepare. My family found me a place, planned the move and helped me pack and move. It’s a fairly long trip including a ferry. Takes about 5 or 6 hours of travel. I want to thank everyone involved with the move. I could not, in any way, have done it without you. …and I’m still unpacking. That’ll take me a while.

Was is worth it? Less than a week here and yes. It was worth it. I’ve always dreamed of living in a cabin on the water and this is as close as I can get. I can watch the water from my couch and it’s quiet, peaceful, and I can smell the ocean and hear the sea birds. All things that have always helped me feel at peace. My mom lives about 5 minutes away, other family members are really close and town is only about 20 minutes away.

My treatment plan is still up in the air. I meet my new oncologist on July 12th. The downside, is it’s a 3 to 4 hour drive one way to see him. Not sure how that’s going to work yet, but I’ll figure it out. The upside, is it should be the only time I have to drive that far to see him. They’ll assign me a local GPO (General Practitioner in Oncology) I think they’re called, to monitor my care here. Totally different from what I’ve done for the past 10 years. I’m used to dealing directly with a medical oncologist.