Every 3 weeks I see a GPO. My last visit (the 10th) was with a new GPO. Again. On top of that, I have no follow up scheduled with an oncologist, any oncologist, in Victoria. My new GPO is looking into that. We both were a little concerned about that and that a CT hadn’t been scheduled when the bone scan was. She ordered one and it’s for June 3rd. Bone scan was already scheduled for July 5th. At least she’s getting things done. It’s disconcerting, feeling like I might fall through the cracks of the system.

She also says I’m “stable”. Which I find weird. Yes, my bloodwork has levelled off and is pretty close to the same as my last tests 3 weeks ago, except for my tumour markers (which are slowly rising) but there’s still the pesky “dye uptake” in my sacrum that says different.

Emotionally I’m still hanging on by my fingernails. Most days missing mom is just part of my life and rolls in with everything else like eating breakfast or brushing my teeth. Once in a while it takes over and overwhelms me like it’s squeezing the life out of my heart. I’m slowly realizing that I’m not going to ever miss her less, just differently as the days go by.