Had my biannual appointment with my oncologist today.  He had the results from my second ultrasound and assured me it was scar tissue.  I have a year and a half to go on the pills if we want to “follow the plan”.  I can handle the night sweats and hot flashes and sore achy joints if it means I don’t ever even have to decide if I want to go through all this again.

I can never remember when this all started so I looked it up today.  My last chemo was Dec 20, 2011, last radiation was March 14, 2012.  It’s been 3 1/2 years, so why does it still feel like last month?  Will I ever have a day where I don’t think about it?  Will I ever be able to talk to someone else going through this or go places like the oncologist’s office where all the memories and feelings don’t haunt me and make me feel like I’m back in the middle of it all again?