Had my oncology appointment today. They’re happy with everything. I have no signs of hand and foot syndrome(HFS) outside of minor redness on the pads of my hands. They’ve also taken me off the Letrozole. One less pill to take. One less pill known for fatigue.

I’m not sleeping and haven’t been for the past few weeks. I either wake up every hour or I can’t get to sleep at all. Sometimes my leg and foot feel all pins and needlie. Sometimes I’m afraid of breaking something else. Sometimes I just can’t get comfortable. If I lay on my back too long my lower spine hurts. If I lay on my side, my hip ends up hurting. I’ve taken Hydromorphone when I’m in pain at night. Dr suggested I start taking it every night before bed before I try sleeping pills. Sleeping pills can cause constipation which can cause problems with the Xeloda. I so need a few good nights of sleep. Feel like I’m gonna crack soon if I don’t.

A friend said “Not sure which is worse, the cancer or the cure.” I sure wonder that sometimes myself.

I joined MyHealth and was able to see my CT and bone scans. I turned the results into a visual to give me a better understanding of where the cancer is and marked them in red. I don’t know the exact location and sizes of the tumours/lesions but it really helps me understand whats going on and answers a lot of the “why” when I hurt in certain areas or can’t be comfortable for too long in one position.

The report reads in part, “Stable lytic bone lesions are present involving the right scapula, right 4th, 6th and left 9th ribs. Sclerotic metastasis involving the T10 and T8 vertebral bodies are associated with mild T8 vertebral body height loss. Extensive lytic and sclerotic metastasis involving the L2 vertebral body and spinous process, L5, bilateral iliac wings and left acetabulum. Increased density posterior to the L5 vertebral body is suspicious for anterior epidural involvement.

IMPRESSION: There are multifocal mixed lytic(disintegration) and sclerotic(hardening or thickening of the bone) osseous metastasis involving the ribs,thoracolumbar spine and pelvis. Mild pathological fracture of T8.”

A lot of the words escape my understanding but that’s ok. I get the idea.

Mom came with me to the Cancer Clinic today to meet my new GPO. It’s so weird having to cover my medical history and everything all over again, like it’s new. Guess I was spoiled (lucky) to have the same oncologist for 10 years.

I pick up the new drugs tomorrow and start taking them Thursday. I know that Ibrance was a chemo drug, but my dr never referred to it as such. They keep referring to Capecitabine, the new drug, as “chemo” which, for some reason really depresses me, and it comes with new side effects to get used to. We’ll see what those are as I get into the drug regime. Chemo brain is one that sticks out for me. 😦 This drug’s cycle is 2 weeks on, one week off so I’ll be seeing the GPO more often. Every 3 weeks.

Finally found out where my tumours are. The pelvis, in the area of the hip joint. About 6 or 7 vertabrae. Can’t remember which ones exactly, but T8 is one of them, the rib beside it on the left is what was fractured, and I think T5, T8, T9, T10. Also a couple or so of the lumbar spine and my right scapula. It’s a little more than I was expecting but it also answers all the questions about why it’s hard to sit, stand, sleep in one position for too long. I guess heavy lifting is out ~shrug~.

I did get gifts today…LOL They gave me a thermometer and would have given me hand cream and Imodium but I have those already.

Been trying to settle myself since I got home but all I feel right now is “bluh”

My cousin suggested we go to Victoria on Monday instead of early Tuesday. I’m glad she did. What a loooong day!

Met the radiology oncologist at 10:30 on Tuesday. She gave me options which I wasn’t expecting. I could come back and have 8 treatments. Or I could have one. Discussed the pros and cons. The 8 would have a longer effect but for me, it would be expensive and take me out of my comfort zone for far too long. I feel like the one treatment will be enough to get me to where I need to be. I can always go back for more.

She asked me about any other pain besides my hip…oddly enough, my lower back has been really bothering me when I wake up. Sometimes it felt like I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed because the pain was so intense. She nodded, like she expected it. Then the exam, she was able to pinpoint where I “hurt” and one of the places she poked in my hip area just about sent me through the roof. She had booked an hour for me because “usually people have way more questions than you have” but was excited that she had some free time and was going to have a coffee…lol

Had to wait for the CT appointment to set up the radiation points. They used a red marker this time and old tattoos from previous radiation treatment. I think we finally got out of there about noon.

Went for lunch with one of my cousin’s sons. We were talking about pain killers and he gets why I don’t like taking them. They mask the pain so you don’t know when/if you’re healing or not. And we tend to over do it when the pain is masked. I know the doctors are always amazed that I’m not popping more of them.

Back to the clinic at 2:30 for anti nausea meds. There were 3 other women waiting for radiation and funny thing, 2 were from Campbell River and one was from Comox. Finally had radiation at about 3:30 to my hip/pelvis area and my lower back. Then it was the long trip home, stopping a few times so we could eat and I could relieve the hip pain.

Today I’m wiped out. A little stiff and sore, a tiny bit nauseous and basically brain dead.

I have to go for baseline bloodwork on Friday then it’s a meeting with my new GPO on Tuesday. Things are truckin’ along.

I sure hope my family knows how much I appreciate the help they’re giving me. I know I don’t say it enough but I couldn’t do this without their love, help and support.