So I don’t have the PIK3CA gene which takes one treatment option off the table. He has suggested, and I agree, that for now I’ll stay on Ibrance because it’s still working. Granted, it’s on it’s last legs, tumour markers are still rising and CT is starting to show minimal growth, but it’s still working. We don’t know if the next treatment line will work as well. Appointments will be every 2 months now instead of every 3.

Next treatment may be Tamoxifen. He wants to keep trying hormone suppressants and is leaving chemo as a last resort for which I’m grateful. I so don’t want chemo.

He doesn’t want me to stop treatment to get the COVID vaccine, 2 weeks off the drugs may be just long enough for the cancer to grab ahold again.

Just to add to my already interesting life, I pulled a muscle, cracked a rib or something. Again. In the same area as last time, same area as I apparently have a tumour. I rolled over in bed last night and heard it pop. It was loud enough to gross me out ☹️ It doesn’t hurt as much as last time, but hurts enough to limit me. Again. Dr wasn’t too concerned. Guess I’ll be getting used to this happening.

For the past week or so I’ve been living in my head. Tomorrow I go for blood work and the day after is my oncology appointment.

I don’t think I’ve been this anxious since I first found out I have MBC. I have no idea what’s in store for me, don’t know if I have the gene I was tested for. If I don’t have it, I don’t know what my options are.

I do know I’m in for new side effects and new drug routines. New fears. Add to the mix is the increase in COVID cases in my area. I’m not even sure how or when I’ll get the vaccine. That’s a discussion with my oncologist.

I’ve always lived on my own but have had support close by. Now I’m really on my own and it just increases the anxiety. Sometimes I just want it all to be over and done with. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming that I struggle to get to tomorrow without losing my mind today.