Had the ultrasound today. One thing they didn’t tell me or I didn’t hear or have just had too many tests to remember is that I was supposed to have a fat-free dinner last night. Do chicken fingers, garlic sausage and brie cheese fall under that category? I got the ‘nothing to eat or drink after midnight’ part right. I told the tech about it and she said not to worry about it since I hadn’t eaten this morning. Anyhow, the way she sounded, it looks clear. Techs always have a way of being somber when things don’t look right. I drove today so I’ll be able to drive to the plastic surgeon Thursday. More freedom. Yeah! Sis and I did some shopping after my test and I was so wiped out after, I came home and had a late morning nap.
Tag: fatigue
too much
I think I did too much today. Went for a walk then went to Michael’s. I spent about an hour there trying to find something to do. Came home with a bead kit for me and a new toy for Merlin. I had to put his toy together and he likes it. I’m too stiff and sore to look at my new toy. Guess I’m not as healed as I’d hoped or thought.
Just thinking about the surgeries and stuff ahead exhausts me. I’ll be going through more of what I’ve been through and it’s so very tiring. I know I’m impatient but I just want to look and feel normal again. All I want for Christmas is my 2 new boobs? I know it’s early to be thinking of Christmas but the way I feel, and what needs to be done, it may not be till then that I really feel normal.
tired
I think I overdid it today. Washed my own hair, had a sponge bath and changed my clothes. Put my laundry away that my sister was kind enough to wash for me. Had a 2 hour nap and I’m still tired. I do feel better. The most pain is coming from the intravenous site but I’m really stiff. As much as I’d like to, driving and long walks on the beach are out for a while. Another 7 days or so of this before I find out what I’m doing.
It’s funny the thoughts that are still going through my head. Not so much worried about infection and swelling today but now thinking what if they were wrong and I didn’t have cancer? This is all still so surreal in a way. Almost like I’m on the outside looking in. I wish I was in more pain sometimes to prove it is real. I’m sure these are all normal thoughts and I’m bound to be depressed for a while as my body heals.
tired
I’m tired today. Tired of being afraid of everything to do with this from the pain to the unknown. Tired from thoughts of cancer never leaving my brain. Tired of worrying about everything from how long I’m going to be off work to how I’m going to look after this surgery takes away parts of me. Tired of wondering if I’m going to be able to quit smoking. Tired of fighting the ‘why me’s’ and the tears and the fears. Tired of hoping I’m asking all the right questions and tired of the need to make sure everything is in place for this. My surgery is 2 weeks away today and I’m just tired.
