Ok, so I’m depressed. I’ve been doing things to ignore it, knitting, making a bracelet, web design, and nothing shuts down my mind enough to not dwell on what’s going or not going to happen. I don’t feel useful. I basically sit around all day and when I do “get out” it only reminds me of how abnormal I look and how much really lays ahead for me. I’ve tried “fake it till you make it” and the fakeout ain’t working. I am so tired of it all and it’s far from over. 3 more days.
Tag: hobbies
too much
I think I did too much today. Went for a walk then went to Michael’s. I spent about an hour there trying to find something to do. Came home with a bead kit for me and a new toy for Merlin. I had to put his toy together and he likes it. I’m too stiff and sore to look at my new toy. Guess I’m not as healed as I’d hoped or thought.
Just thinking about the surgeries and stuff ahead exhausts me. I’ll be going through more of what I’ve been through and it’s so very tiring. I know I’m impatient but I just want to look and feel normal again. All I want for Christmas is my 2 new boobs? I know it’s early to be thinking of Christmas but the way I feel, and what needs to be done, it may not be till then that I really feel normal.
