It started when I woke up yesterday.  That anxious unsettling feeling.  When I went to get groceries, my car wouldn’t start.  Turns out my battery was dead.  Luckily my friend took me shopping and looked after my car.  (Thank you!)  I wasn’t going to deal with it, I didn’t want to chance hearing anymore bad news, I thought that might be why I was feeling weird but no-o-o.

Woke up this morning feeling the same way and it dawned on me that my oncology appointment is next Tuesday.  And I have to go for bloodwork tomorrow instead of Monday because they’ll be closed.

The days leading up to my appointments are always riddled with anxiety.  I can’t sleep properly, I’m never hungry and I can’t stay focussed on any one thing for any length of time. I want to hear good news when I see him but I also want to brace myself for any bad news.  I’ll know my scan results then too. Back and forth, good-bad-good-bad.