2 years ago yesterday my oncologist confirmed I had MBC. Because I already knew, by the bone scan and a visit to my GP, it wasn’t news.

I remember one of the first things I did when I suspected I had cancer again was to look up bone cancer because it was my hip that was the problem. I also remember after my first couple of internet searches, that I decided to hold off until my official diagnosis to see what it was all about. I so wanted to be wrong.

Knowledge is power, right? Not so much. Researching MBC didn’t help much. All the stuff I found talked around the fact that it’s terminal. Most of the stuff I found talks about quality of life, and treatment being for the rest of my life. Very rarely do you find an article that out and out tells you that it’s terminal. And the stats? They’re scary.

I get that people don’t want to talk about it. Who wants to be reminded of their own mortality? What that does is isolate those of us that are terminal. When we start losing our normal and we have to find a new normal, we also lose friends, family, work, in that process. We mourn our so called normal lives and try to add life to our new normal. It’s not an easy thing, learning to live this new life while trying to ignore that it’s going to end sooner than anticipated.

“Living while dying is the strangest thing.” (to quote a comment posted to my blog). And it is.

Here’s to hoping I’m here in another 2 years.