New oncologist wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted my scans to happen as soon as possible.

Had the bone scan yesterday and as is the normal for me, they couldn’t find a vein the first try. Had to redo the injection dosage because “there was too much blood in the needle”. Second try worked. It does make for a really long day when you have to sit around and wait for a couple of hours after the injection, especially when this is all being done in another town about 30-45 minutes away.

I couldn’t see the monitor for the scan as well as I could the first time so not sure where the cancer is for sure, but my pelvis was noticable. I’ll find out in a couple of weeks, after my CT, and after they’ve compared the two scans.

I finally took another pain pill last night about 1 am. 3 weeks of constant pain and no sleep and I just couldn’t take it any more. I’ve taken more of them so far this year than I had hoped to but logic is starting to win out. There’s no reason to force myself to put up with the pain when I have some relief readily available, even if it does make me feel a little loopy.

All of this sure brings up the anxiety level. I’m in between treatments and they’re trying to get the second line of treatment going. New side effects(soon), new doctors, new hospitals, new home, more pain, scans. Good thing my new home calms me down, what with the sea air and the sound of the ocean waves. If I still lived in Maple Ridge I’d be more out of sorts than I am.

Saw my new oncologist today. He happens to be related to a family friend which puts a twist on things.

He’s taken me off Ibrance but keeping me on Letrozole and is putting me on Capecitabine(Xeloda) in a couple of weeks. He’s also scheduling a CT and bone scan in a week or two. He’s putting a rush on them. Depending on what they show, I may be in for more radiation too for pain management. The scans can be done here but the radiation has to be done in Victoria 😦

Really tired after going to Victoria and back in one day even though I wasn’t the one driving. Little leery of new side effects but whatever. This is really nothing new, just a different oral chemo drug. I’m sure I’ll get used to a new normal. Again.

For the last couple of weeks, my hip has been sore 24/7. I at first attributed it to a flare-up from moving and unpacking.. I get those occasionally when I over-excert myself so I wasn’t too concerned. Right now I’m using a cane again when I leave the house. I haven’t been taking pain pills because the pain is still at the tolerable stage. This is all incredibly tiring and depressing. and it’s been too long for this to be considered just another flare-up.

To make matters worse, I took my cat(Grady) out on his leash the other night, like I do most nights. He enjoys it and oftens asks to go. That night the neighbor’s dog, a German Shepard cross, charged my cat. A growling match ensued(yes, Grady prefers to growl instead of hiss) with some swipes and lunges. Then there’s me, trying to get Grady off the ground where he’d be safe. It was only a few seconds of high stress and extreme fear and me forgetting to take it easy for my hip to start screaming at me. I did take a pain pill as soon as we made it back to my rooms. Haven’t had that kind of pain for a couple of years.

Monday I meet my new oncologist. It’s going to be a long uncomfortable trip but I’m anxious to hear what my next steps are especially with my hip hurting again.

It’s been a good week. Went out for dinner with some of my family for my birthday and was given some great gifts.

Had my second COVID vaccine.

Was reminded about the “spoon theory” from a blog post of a fellow MBCer. You can read about it here https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/. Reading it again reminded me why I get so tired. I figured out a long time ago that I would only be able to do one major thing a day. This means a shopping trip, cleaning house, visiting etc. If I did more than that, I got too tired. And incredibly frustrated. Reading about the spoons again helped me make sense of the why and some of the frustration has gone away.

Fatigue is one of the symptoms that many cancer patients experience from treatment. In my case, this feeling of fatigue has been with me for a very long time.

The best explanation I’ve come across is from the Mayo Clinic that describes being tired compared to unrelenting fatigue as this: “Nearly everyone is overtired or overworked from time to time. Such instances of temporary fatigue usually have an identifiable cause and a likely remedy. Unrelenting exhaustion, on the other hand, lasts longer, is more profound and isn’t relieved by rest. It’s a nearly constant state of weariness that develops over time and reduces your energy, motivation and concentration. Fatigue at this level impacts your emotional and psychological well-being, too.”

That about sums it up. Also explains why my energy is gone before noon and why as much sleep as I can get doesn’t make a difference. I’ve only been able to unpack one or two boxes a day before I am just too tired to do more. At this rate, I may be done by the end of summer 🙂

I moved back to my hometown on Monday. It took many months of talking myself into it for many reasons. In the end, my family took over. All I really had to do was give my notice where I was, and prepare. My family found me a place, planned the move and helped me pack and move. It’s a fairly long trip including a ferry. Takes about 5 or 6 hours of travel. I want to thank everyone involved with the move. I could not, in any way, have done it without you. …and I’m still unpacking. That’ll take me a while.

Was is worth it? Less than a week here and yes. It was worth it. I’ve always dreamed of living in a cabin on the water and this is as close as I can get. I can watch the water from my couch and it’s quiet, peaceful, and I can smell the ocean and hear the sea birds. All things that have always helped me feel at peace. My mom lives about 5 minutes away, other family members are really close and town is only about 20 minutes away.

My treatment plan is still up in the air. I meet my new oncologist on July 12th. The downside, is it’s a 3 to 4 hour drive one way to see him. Not sure how that’s going to work yet, but I’ll figure it out. The upside, is it should be the only time I have to drive that far to see him. They’ll assign me a local GPO (General Practitioner in Oncology) I think they’re called, to monitor my care here. Totally different from what I’ve done for the past 10 years. I’m used to dealing directly with a medical oncologist.

Had my last appointment with my oncologist today because I’m moving at the end of the month. I’m going to be under the care of BC Cancer Agency out of Victoria. Rather than starting a new line of treatment, he is going to let them decide on that and is giving me 3 months of Ibrance/Letrozole to keep me on something until I see a new oncologist. I’m pretty sure he would have put me on something else if I was staying here. I’m hoping I can do a video conference with them and not have to travel to Victoria for the initial visit.

Did I say I was moving? I’m moving back home to Campbell River. Couldn’t do it without the help of my family. They found me a place and have more or less organized the whole thing. My friend is going to help me pack. I’d be staying here if I didn’t have help. Not sure how my rib is going to take it.

The place I’m going to be living is practically on the ocean. Her backyard ends at the ocean and the window in my new living room is low so I can watch it without having to go anywhere. I’ll have 3 rooms in the basement and a shared kitchen and laundry.

I do feel a little bit lost with all these major changes happening at the same time but I’ll just go day by day until I feel comfortable again.

My left rib is still sore and it really makes it difficult to do much. Lifting things, rolling over in beds etc., all hurt. To add to it, because having pain in one spot on my body doesn’t seem to be enough, I’ve hurt my right side too. I’ve been grabbing my left rib when I cough because then it doesn’t hurt as much. Sneezed last night and somehow pulled a muscle in my upper right chest (possible pectoral muscle?) right where my mastectomy scar is.

My body is falling apart.

My eyesight has been failing since about Christmas, especially in my left eye. Went to the optometrist today and, no surprise, I have cataracts. She has suggested surgery. My left eye is bad. My right eye is creeping up there but not nearly as bad as the left.

The glasses and contacts I currently have are ok for around the house and the very short trips I make in the car but there’s no way I can do any highway driving. New glasses and or contacts are going to have to wait until next month.

My friend asked me if there is anything not broken on me. LOL. I don’t think so.

So late last night, my rib pain started worrying me, making me wonder if it was my kidney because the pain had changed over the last couple of days. Not sure how to describe how it changed, other than it went from a jabbing pain to a constant pain, and stronger. All in the same area as my (self-diagnosed) cracked rib. The pain is really bad when I cough.

Spent 3 hours at Emergency this morning. More needle pokes and urine tests. My kidney function is just fine. Good to know. The emerg doctor is thinking that because of my “situation”, and because there’s no fever, no vomiting, and a tumor in the area that hurts, that I may have stressed muscles in that area now too. She was reluctant to get a CT (you’re practically glowing already) and an X-ray won’t show anything if I do have stressed muscles. She’s going along with my original assessment that it’s all related to the rib I assume I cracked.

I’m to just keep an eye on it for a few days, if there’s a fever or a major change in how it feels to go back to emerg. Good thing I have good painkillers. They’ll be my friend for the next couple of days.