Tag: moody

of my mind set

~ connie ~ Leave a comment

I finally came across a website about a woman with breast cancer who talked about the pain and uglys and bad attitude that she had.  I gotta say, it’s refreshing to know I’m not the only one out there who has a hard time focusing on the positive of all this.  I find the negatives out weigh the positives.  Positive-no more cancer (hopefully).  Negatives-pain, anxiety, down time from work, down time from life, fatigue, disfigurement, fear.  Did I mention pain?  I’m glad I don’t show any more signs of cancer but geez, does it have to take all this to get rid of it?  I realize I’m asking for a lot, wanting to feel better after having major surgery only 10 days ago, but I am asking for that.  I need a day of feeling better to pick up my mood.

Spent my last morning with mom today.  She went up to Whistler with my sister then is going home tomorrow or the next day.  She’s been a saint this time around, I’ve not been the nicest person this time.  I truly couldn’t have done it alone this time.  Love you!

grumpy

~ connie ~ Leave a comment

I decided to sleep in my bed last night instead of propped up in my normal place on the couch.  Bad move.  Woke up at 4am because of pain.  Guess I overdid it yesterday with my hoo ra’s over the drains gone and no more cancer to take out.  It’s made me grumpy so I’ll be sleeping on the couch again tonight.  Had to go get groceries today and it was really hard to not say something mean and nasty to my mom just cause I wanted to lash out.  I’m so tired of being in pain.  Can’t wait for that first day when there isn’t any.  The stoopid thing is my sister and niece went and got their nails done while mom and I, the 2 gimps had to get the groceries.  Poor mom had to pack it all into the car cause I can’t lift anything yet.  We made the fit and now nail funky people pack it all into the house.  No shopping cart for them!

changes

~ connie ~ 3 Comments

Yup, I changed the way this looks again.  The posts are longer than they appear and unless you knew to click on the post title, you missed some of them.  So go ahead, if you’re one of them, read on 🙂

I was feeling sorry for myself today.  All alone, a pity party of sorts and of which I do think I’m entitled to on occasion but today ended differently than it started.  I realized there are loads of people around me that DO really care, honestly, from the heart.  And I need to learn to reach out, and use the support I feel around me for these really low days to prop myself back up.  I can borrow from the people in my life until I, once again, feel strong enough to go it alone.  In the end, anyone with cancer IS alone, but we don’t have to always carry it alone, especially when we feel we can’t.

Thank you for teaching me that today.