My last chemo was 3 weeks ago today and I’m still feelin’ it. My knees are still screwed up. Walking too far, like 25 feet, standing too long, like washing 2 plates or just straightening them out all hurt. They don’t feel like they’ve gotten any better in the past week 😦
I got a little bit panicked today, it’s only happened to me once or twice during this whole process. I was watching a commercial, a cancer one, she had stage 4 breast cancer that had moved to her bones. And I thought of ‘them’ being concerned that the margin they left around my cancer wasn’t big enough for their liking. That could lead to it getting to my bones. And for the first time I didn’t think of radiation as being a distant possibility but a likely one. And for the first time I thought of cancer as being deadly. That’s what I get for having all this time on my hands and no where to go but my thoughts. They’re starting to run away on their own.