…is a real thing.

I have a CT scan tomorrow morning and for me the anxiety also includes the line they need to put in for the contrast dye.  Needles and I have never had a good relationship.  It isn’t that I just don’t like them, they don’t like me either.  The last CT I had 6 months ago, she blew 2 veins and had trouble with the 3rd one then he came out and put the line in my hand beside my thumb.  Ya shoulda seen my arm after.  Pretty blues and purples…

The anxiety is also the wait from when I have the scan and when I get to know the results. My appointment with my oncologist isn’t until November 13th.  Will it be good results?  The cancer has shrunk or stopped growing?  Will it be bad, cancer is still spreading?  I get that I can’t do anything about it till then but that doesn’t stop the mind from creeping into those bad thoughts.

Lately when I’ve done my daily morning body check, the left side of my pelvis feels like it’s calmed down, but the right side has been irritating.  The left side is still stabbing me if I do too much, like the laundry or grocery shopping, but overall, I don’t feel too bad.  I think the naps when I need them and being able to lay down when I need to has helped the stress on my body.

But oh the scanxiety…