I’ve always liked being alone. I’d get home from work on Friday, lock the door behind me and not come out again until Monday if I could help it. I preferred it that way. Being an introvert in an extrovert job took a lot out of me and I would need time to recharge myself.

When I had to quit work because of my diagnosis, the extra time to myself was definitely needed so I could focus more on my treatments and my health. I was and am still not lonely.

Lately, I’ve been anxious spending my nights alone. The other night I had a dizzy spell. I ended up calling my neighbour and she came over for about an hour with her blood pressure cuff 🙂 My blood pressure was fine and it turns out, dizziness is a side effect of the injections. I’ve told my neighbour I need a babysitter:(

Still…nights are really hard lately. I’m not lonely, I don’t want or need someone here to keep up a running dialogue with me. I just don’t want to be alone. I have anxiety attacks more at night. Not the debilitating kind, just slight nudges that take over your mind for a minute or two. I just feel I need(or want) someone here at night. Not sure how to remedy this new “thing” yet, but one of my mom’s favourite sayings was “It’ll all work out.” So I’m holding her to it.