I went for my CT scan this morning. I was more stressed than usual ‘cause it was snowing. The tech tried to get the IV in and couldn’t. She only tried once. She didn’t want to keep poking me because of the trauma already caused by the bone scan injection. They take me down to Cancer Care hoping they have better luck.

Cancer Care has one of those handy dandy scanners that turn your veins neon. It appears I don’t have any 😦 She was able to finally find a vein on my arm, between my wrist and elbow. In goes the needle. As soon as she tried to flush with saline, my vein collapsed. She finds another vein. Same thing happens.

Knowing my veins suck, knowing I have scar tissue in a couple of them, knowing it’s not going to be any “easy” appointment and having a needle phobia, fighting the flight response is incredibly difficult. I was so stressed I was crying by the time they gave up. My arm is all bruised. People who say needles don’t hurt are just wrong. They do.

CT scan done without contrast. Not ideal, some things won’t show up but better than nothing. Apparently there’s a way to get the IV in using ultrasound and done by the radiologist but they need to be told when the appointment is booked. I’ll talk to my oncologist about it.

And more needles. Thursday I go for my injections. Monday I go for bloodwork. Each time a needle poke fails, my phobia ratchets up.