A year ago yesterday I had a mammogram, ultra-sound and needle biopsy. 1 year ago yesterday I knew even though it wasn’t official that I had breast cancer. 1 year ago today I had no idea what I was in for or how I would turn out. I was terrified, I know that. And I remember that I kept trying to minimize the seriousness of what was happening to me. If I’d known a year ago what I was in for I’m not sure I’d have gone through it all. If I’d known that today I’d lose all my hair and my confidence with it I don’t know if I’d have done it all.

People talk of cancer survivors as being brave and courageous. I’ve never thought of myself as being either of those and still can’t. I wasn’t in a position to decide to be brave. I did decide I had no choice but the treatment path offered to me. To me that’s not brave or courageous. That’s choosing life.
Today is my 49th birthday. Tonight I celebrated not only my birthday but the fact that I was here for it. It’s not bravery or courage that got me through the treatment I had in this past year. It was that I wanted to see my 50th birthday.