Had my oncology appointment today. My tumor markers are still holding steady around 60. “It’s not stopping it.” he says. “It’s slowing it down.” I say. He nodded. My white blood count is still low but that’s expected. We went through the whole…how are you feeling…anything new? Any changes? He still seems confused as to why I don’t use the pain meds I have. I told him again that if I walk too much or carry things then the pain hits but it goes away after a while if I rest. “Exertion.” he says and nods. I told him because the pain goes away I won’t take the pain killers, if it didn’t go away I would. I don’t have to see him for another 2 months and before then, he’s scheduling me for another CT scan.
I asked him what my options were for treatment if I moved back home. After talking about it, they aren’t the best. If I move back home, I’d be routed out of Victoria, and my cancer Dr would be there because then I’d be in the BC Cancer Agency circle. (he isn’t under their “bubble” apparently. I’m not sure how that works.) The agency would assign a GPO to me back home. The GPO can’t make decisions, he just monitors me so anytime there’s something wrong I’d be going back to Victoria. And I’d be going to Victoria for the monthly appointments. ew. Just ew.
Another option is to continue to see him (“I don’t care what your address is”. he says) and make a monthly trek back here. I’d prefer to keep seeing him. He knows my history and I’ve been seeing him for years.
The problem with both of these is if there are complications I won’t be close to any real help.
Another option is to just stay here until I decide I don’t want anymore treatment, then move home.
None of these appeal to me. Decisions, decisions.
Then he started talking about “expecting” to treat me for years to come and that I’ve got time to make decisions. I said “We didn’t expect me to get MBC, we expected when the breast cancer was gone, it was gone.” “Good point.” he says.
So here I am again, back to the old wondering WHEN.