Feeling ok today. A little tired, a little fatigued, but I know that it all starts tomorrow. I dunno-every time as been a little more tolerable, possibly because I’m not pushing myself as hard. It’s all gonna take as long as it takes to get through my system. I have no control over it.

I had my lat chemo appointment today. *happy dance* 2 or 3 weeks of hell, then forward to normal. No more hell. I go back and see the oncologist in March for a follow up. I see the radiologist in January and if luck is on my side, I won’t need to have radiology. My oncologist says I don’t have to wait for my aunt’s test to come back about the genetic testing, he can start the process for me because there’s a definite family connection. I’ll wait until I see the radiologist for that since it’s all in the same building.
My family cooked me a turkey dinner tonight because by Christmas my taste buds will be shot. I love my family 🙂

Had my blood test today. Hopefully everything is ok. I’ve had to talk myself into tomorrow and it would suck if the chemo was postponed because my blood count is off.
Went for dinner with my family then to the casino like we always do. Had a good night. Lost my money but still a good night. I’m glad my mommy is here.

I’m getting anxious just like last time at this time. Yes, it’s my last chemo treatment on Tuesday. But no, it hasn’t gotten any easier. If anything it’s gotten harder.
My mom is coming into town tomorrow for Christmas and she and my sister are both going to my last treatment. It’s the first time my mom has been to one and hopefully her last. Hopefully no one else in the family will have to go through this.

I went grocery shopping today. With help. I still can’t do it on my own which really sucks. Makes me wonder if my knees will ever get back to normal. And it’s making my life pretty difficult. I’m not known for being energetic or enthusiastic about things. Ok, ok. I’m a downright lazy person but this takes it to the max. And not by choice.

I’m feeling a little more off today than I would like. Could partly be from the crappy sleep I had last night. I don’t feel like I’m recovering from the last chemo treatment as fast as the time before. I’m still finding it very uncomfortable to walk more than 10 steps. 3 days left till my last treatment.

Went for dinner with a co-worker tonight. It was so nice to get caught up. She even let me ramble on and on 🙂
Less than a week till my last chemo. I’m anxious to get it done and anxious to get it over with. I still wish I knew when I’ll get back to my normal and ‘when chemo treatment is finished’ is just too open ended.

On the odd day like today where most of me feels fine, and my mind is clear, I feel like I’m playin’ hookie from work. Then I move around and my knees hurt and I’m knocked back into reality. Only one more treatment which means I’m ‘this much’ closer to getting my life back. Hmmm…there’s a good thought.

A very nondescript day. Did laundry, got a Fed-Ex delivery (the last xmas present. Gotta love shopping online). Looked in the mirror this morning and realized I finally look my age. The wrinkles are more pronounced around my eyes when I’m not wearing makeup and I still can’t get over how dry my skin is. My knees still hurt. I’m wondering if they’ll ever return to normal or if I’m gonna have to get one of those handicapped parking permits.

It’s Monday, which means tomorrow gives me a week before my next chemo. I’m already feeling anxious. Don’t want to do it. It feels like each time is taking longer to recover. At the rate they’re going, my knees aren’t going to be near as better as they were last time. I know it’s the last treatment (happy dance) but for whatever reason, it seems to be the hardest to force myself to do.