I went shopping today. Wanted jeans for this weekend and for work and got them super cheap. I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on them just in case I go back to my normal weight. Also got some food. There was stuff on sale this week that I normally buy and I may not feel like going out after my weekend away with mom and sis. I wanted to be able to rest tomorrow. I’m in pain now. I know I should let someone take me but I just so want to be able to do things on my own again.
My knees and feet are killing me and the radiated site has gotten away from me. Some of the skin of my armpit started to sluff off last night. Think of burning your arm on the oven and the skin just wiping off. Hurts. 😦 Good thing I picked up the cream for it yesterday.
In the past 8 months I can’t remember a whole 7 days in a row where I wasn’t in enough pain to have to take my time doing things. Or not do them at all. I get so discouraged and plain wore out too often. I have to fight with myself lots to get rid of the whiny, bitchy crabby way I constantly feel, or at least be able to hide it from people. That old saying about ‘act as if…’ just doesn’t always work. I was so hoping the radiation would be a breeze, thought I was entitled to that at least with all I’ve been through but noooo…it had to get bad too.
So today I’m whiny, bitchy, crabby. I’m going to take my sleeping pills this weekend, I’m sure mom and sis wouldn’t appreciate me waking them up at all hours like I do.