missing

One of the lingering nags of going through treatment for cancer is how much time is lost. Not just lost from my life, but from other people’s lives. 8 months of my life was spent killing cancer. Going through chemo and radiation and surgeries. The main thing on my mind during that time was getting to the next appointment, and then getting through that appointment to the next one. My only focus was getting to the end without losing my mind along with my boobs and my hair. I’m only now realizing how much time I’ve lost of other people’s lives. The little things that connect people. A joke, a story. The big things too, a wedding, a birth, a death.
All the things that connect human beings emotionally as friends, family, co-workers was, in a sense, killed along with the cancer. I sometimes feel like I’m never going to catch up.