Had the ultrasound today. One thing they didn’t tell me or I didn’t hear or have just had too many tests to remember is that I was supposed to have a fat-free dinner last night. Do chicken fingers, garlic sausage and brie cheese fall under that category? I got the ‘nothing to eat or drink after midnight’ part right. I told the tech about it and she said not to worry about it since I hadn’t eaten this morning. Anyhow, the way she sounded, it looks clear. Techs always have a way of being somber when things don’t look right. I drove today so I’ll be able to drive to the plastic surgeon Thursday. More freedom. Yeah! Sis and I did some shopping after my test and I was so wiped out after, I came home and had a late morning nap.
Month: September 2011
bone scan
So the bone scan was an all day thing. Sorta 🙂 I was in at 11:30 for the isotope shot, then got to leave for 3 hours. My sis took me to my job and she got to meet everyone I always talk about-got to put a face to a name. It was good to go there and see everyone again and let them all know face to face that I’m doing ok. My boss was away tho, would have been nice to touch base with him too. The bone scan was at 2:50pm and the machine can be real scary if you’re claustrophobic. They tape your feet together at the toes, ankles apart and strap your arms in so essentially you aren’t going anywhere even if you wanted to. They lower the big x-ray machine over your head so it’s within an inch of your nose and tell you not to move. The scan goes from your head to your toes so your head is out of it after about 5 minutes. Then because I had (have?) breast cancer they scan your ribs from the side. I wasn’t sure I could do this cause I had to put my hands over my head but it was only for 3 minutes this time instead of the 30 it took for the full body scan so I was ok. Good thing is I can lift my arms over my head now…LOL My sister and I did spend some time at the casino today and no we didn’t win but it was still fun! Tomorrow morning is the ultra sound.
when
So when do you start counting yourself as a survivor? Is it when the surgeon says they got it all? Is it when you meet the oncologist and he gives you a plan of attack? Is it after the chemo and radiation? How about after all the surgery a person needs? Personally I’m going to go with the day I was diagnosed.
16 days
16 days it’s been since my surgery. I was hoping I’d be farther along in the healing process than I am by now. Went downtown with a friend and I couldn’t lift anything again today, let alone drive. I think I hate not having my independence the most. And lack of energy next.
transfusion
Got a letter from Fraser Health today. Apparently they send you a list of transfusions given to you during surgery. I had a skin transfusion? What? I’m gonna have to find out what that’s about next week. I wasn’t told of any skin transfusion. ew.
no infection
Saw the plastic surgeon today and he says I’m looking good, no infection. That is such a load off my shoulders because he’d freaked me out so much about smoking and healing. He still wants me to quit before he does the other side. I have to see him next week to get the stitches out. He says he did make me a little bigger, guess when I’m healed enough to fit into a bra I’ll be able to compare better. And I did pull the chest muscle from driving yesterday. Hurts like hell again today. I sure hope I can drive by Monday to get to New West. While I was at his office a couple of women in uniform came in with a 3rd person in a blue sweatsuit. I thought they were ambulance attendants. Reading the patch on the shoulder of one of them I realized they were corrections officers. Looking at ‘sweatsuit’ closer I saw that she had ankle cuffs on. Wonder what she’d be at the plastic surgeon’s office for…
On the way home I got the appointment for the ultra sound for my liver. I have 3 appointments next week on 3 different days. My surgeon wants to see me after the scans, I’m saving her for the week after next.
driving
Note to self-Make sure your next car is an automatic, not a standard. Shifting gears is killer when your chest muscle is still healing on the shifting side. I’m really glad I have a ride to Abbotsford tomorrow. I’d never make it driving myself.
Surgeon says the incision is healing well, and looks good. There’s a little seepage and she put a new bandage on but says the plastic surgeon should be able to take it off permanently tomorrow. Let’s hope he thinks it’s healing well too. She was going to give me sleeping pills because I’m not sleeping thru the night but I reminded her that I have no life and can have a nap if I need to. No need for sleeping pills.
more tests
I go see the surgeon again tomorrow, I’ll be driving to that one, and the plastic surgeon on Thursday, and I’ll be driven to that one. I shouldn’t be driving yet I don’t think. At least not any great distance. I get the bone scan on Monday, have to be at Royal Columbian in New West at 11:30 for the injection, the test is at 2:40. Gonna be a long day. Then I see the Oncologist on October 11th here at home, yea! At least I don’t have to drive out to the cancer clinic for it. Still waiting for a liver scan date. I wonder if the rest of my surgeries are gonna have to wait till after whatever the oncologist says I need to do for the cancer.
day to day
There’s been less pain today, more relaxing, less doing much and a nap in the middle of it all. I can almost grab my left shoulder with my right hand but not quite. Hurts too much still. But there is progress. My days are so mundane and boring and don’t seem to be able to separate themselves into unique entities. I have to look at the date on the computer to know what it is and all my appointments are listed on a whiteboard. Actually it’s black, and the washable ink is pink. My 2 favorite colours before this cancer all started and I’m determined to allow pink to remain a favorite without the stigma of it being the colour of breast cancer.
The day to day stuff I used to do and took for granted stand out now that they aren’t easy anymore. Closing the drapes, picking something up off the floor, brushing my hair, feeding the cat, standing up after lying down on the couch. These as well as many other things take extra time and care and far less speed. I think for me, ‘normal’ will be when I can do these without having to think about it, without causing pain.
of my mind set
I finally came across a website about a woman with breast cancer who talked about the pain and uglys and bad attitude that she had. I gotta say, it’s refreshing to know I’m not the only one out there who has a hard time focusing on the positive of all this. I find the negatives out weigh the positives. Positive-no more cancer (hopefully). Negatives-pain, anxiety, down time from work, down time from life, fatigue, disfigurement, fear. Did I mention pain? I’m glad I don’t show any more signs of cancer but geez, does it have to take all this to get rid of it? I realize I’m asking for a lot, wanting to feel better after having major surgery only 10 days ago, but I am asking for that. I need a day of feeling better to pick up my mood.
Spent my last morning with mom today. She went up to Whistler with my sister then is going home tomorrow or the next day. She’s been a saint this time around, I’ve not been the nicest person this time. I truly couldn’t have done it alone this time. Love you!
Connie's Breast Cancer Journey 