Tomorrow is my last radiation appointment. It has helped. I can take a few steps without the cane but I tend not to. I don’t trust it, or myself, to be careful enough. Tomorrow I also have blood tests before the dreaded IV on Tuesday.
I don’t think I’m going to do the IV for a number of reasons, the main one being a major side effect that I might be susceptible to because of my history of bad teeth. Osteonecrosis “is the death of bone caused by poor blood supply to the area. Osteonecrosis of the jaw bone underneath the teeth…” I’ll talk to the Dr and se what he says. Right now I couldn’t handle more complications.
I picked up my chemo drugs yesterday but I haven’t opened the box yet. I loathe the idea of being sick again to try and make me better. I’ve had enough of fever and nausea and fatigue in the last 3 weeks. I don’t really want to lose any more weight because I can’t eat. I had a cup of coffee this morning-my first in over a week.
THEN I was willing to go through all of this horrible stuff with the hope and understanding that it would make me better. I could handle being sick and weak and in pain knowing there would be an end to it all.
NOW not so much. I’m afraid to go through all that again knowing there is no end to it.