I’ve been doing some reading on Ibrance and (MBC)metastatic breast cancer in general. I still can’t find anything that makes me grab it and hold onto it as a way of living longer. The studies on both still say there is no cure. In all my reading this is the one thing that stands out, all the articles make a point of stressing this.
The Ibrance studies, what I can understand of them, give a “progression-free” increase of time over other treatments but only on average of 20 months and if I am reading correctly, in combination with the other drug I’m taking.
It would appear that I’ll be ok until the cancer hits my organs whenever that may be.
I really wish I knew how long I had. No, I don’t have a bucket list that I want to get through but I do want to have some “free” time like I would have if I retired. I don’t want to go from working every day to being bed-ridden every day. I want to spend some quality time with my family. All of them. There’s so many things we take for granted when we see our futures as being almost limitless. I want the little things, like walking without a cane and a limp again, being able to go to the PNE, or just plain going for a walk with my friend. I would like to have a glass of wine or 2 again.
I don’t want to be angry anymore at this not being caught sooner. It wouldn’t have really made a difference.
I want to be able to close my eyes at night and not be afraid. I want to wake up in the morning and not have MBC be my first thought of the day.
Maybe, soon, I’ll have a full day away from the obsessive thoughts of cancer and the constant repeating in my head of the word “metastatic”.