I’m having a really good pity party today. I made the mistake of brushing my hair this morning. Great big clumps of hair came out. Not sure how many days I have until it doesn’t look normal anymore but they’re numbered. I’m supposed to see my plastic surgeon on Thursday but think I’ll be canceling that. I could tie a scarf around my head but trust me, that looks really weird on me. Really weird.
My sister and I are going to look at wigs on Saturday and hopefully I’ll find a pre-fab one that I like. To tell the truth, I don’t really care if my hair colour is matched or not, I used to dye it so often and because of the streaks it has right now, I’m not even really sure what colour it normally is. And the wigs are expensive. My insurance will cover about half of what a custom made wig costs, you know the ones, they match them to your current colour and style and are made of real hair. But that’s far too expensive. I just know I can’t go around with no hair.
For now I’m just sitting here crying off and on. Missing my real hair. Wishing I wasn’t going to look like a chemo patient soon. But like Mom says, I am a chemo patient. But I still never wanted to look like one and now I’m going to. I don’t need people looking at me, feeling sorry for me. I’m doing a good enough job of that on my own right now.