I’ve gotten to the point that there’s nothing I can do about losing my hair. That doesn’t make it any easier. But I’m able to basically hold back the tears and brush the hair off my head instead of not even being able to look in the mirror. I keep telling myself that I’m not the only one going through this, there are far too many others. We’ve all seen them. The ones with no eyebrows, pasty white skin and scarfs over their heads. You know they probably have cancer and you know it was probably caused by chemo. I haven’t lost my eyebrows yet and my skin isn’t pasty white altho I’ve always been pale, but any hair on my body that has been cut and or shaved is falling out. I’m waiting for the rest of it to go too. There won’t be any pictures of me with no hair or with that wispy, really sparse look that happens. I can’t do that. What I did do is take a picture of the hair I brushed out this morning.

Tonight I’ll be brushing out that much again. I can feel it gathering at the base of my neck in a clump, ready to be separated from the hairs that are being stubborn and staying attached to me. I don’t know if I’ll go to my appointment tomorrow or not. I don’t think I’ve come THAT far yet, to be able to go out in public like this.