Feeling better today. Had a good night’s sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I so hate taking drugs of any kind, but to be realistic, my body is not itself and I have to be ok with taking any help I can get to feel better.
I’ve got about a week now and about a week after the next chemo to get what I need to for Christmas. I’ve got some of my shopping done but not all. I can’t put it all off till the last minute like I would normally do. Cancer has made other plans for me this year.

Feeling a little off today, like I’m recovering from the flu. I remember feeling this way for a couple of days last time too. Not sleeping good last night probably doesn’t help. So 10 days to feeling part way human, 2 weeks to almost normal?
My last treatment is on the 20th of December and it worries me. I am so not a Christmas person on a good day. It’s not my favorite holiday but I try and get into it for the rest of my family. How am I going to be able to do any of that 5 days after chemo? Am I going to be able to, let alone want to, go anywhere? Can’t Christmas be on the 30th instead of the 25th?

I took a sleeping pill last night and woke up 8 hours later this morning. I felt almost normal. I’m still shaky and get tired easy but no where near where I was 2 days ago. My taste buds are almost back to normal. My gauge? Coffee and coke are drinkable. Felt so good I got out today. Went to the casino then groceries. I also bought some new makeup. I’m starting to look a little sallow, probably from spending days on end indoors. The makeup was expensive but I got some $ off when we started talking about cancer and chemo…

I think, I hope, the nagging pain all over is almost gone. My sleeping pattern however, is getting worse. I sleep for a few hours then up for a few. Every night the ‘sleep for a few’ gets fewer and fewer. I may take a sleeping pill tonight. My body is too fatigued to do it alone.
I was doing some reading and looks like I may be one of the lucky ones. Most people that go thru chemo never seem to get ‘good’ days in between the treatments. The fatigue, or other side effects don’t always leave completely. I’m sure hoping for another few days of good before the bad again. I’d be a total mess if I didn’t have those.

Day in, day out of this pain and fatigue really gets to me. I go from the couch to the computer and back to the couch again and each trip tires me out. My days are filled with watching tv, resting, playing on the computer and resting. In between I feed myself. I don’t mind a brain of mush at this point, anything more and I’d be really frustrated because I wouldn’t be able to follow thru on anything else my brain would want to do. But even this gets tiring. And monotonous. And boring. But I can’t function like a human being yet. So I rest. And hope tomorrow will be better.

I still feel like I’m 80. I have no energy, walk all hunched over and need to rest, a lot, and can’t get comfortable. I attempted to go out today just to pick up some food, something different and maybe appealing to me and only made it as far as the drugstore. I didn’t have the energy to walk the aisles of the grocery store. I came home with mints for my icky mouth and some popcorn. Weird combo I know but it appealed to me. Groceries will have to wait. For when I feel 40ish again. Very soon I hope because this is driving me nuts.

The days from the beginning of chemo to the days when I feel better are too far between. This is day 6 and I’m getting depressed. It’s too many days for a pessimist to be down. It makes it too hard to get back up. Today I feel swollen and bloated and just plain ugly. I didn’t sleep well, I don’t have any energy and if I was out somewhere, I’d just want to go home.

I feel better today. Still weak and need to rest lots but the pain in my knees is almost gone. As much as I truly appreciate the help I’ve had over the last few days, I do so love having my independence back. It always makes me feel like I’m getting better and not toxic, and weak and whiny and in pain.
My taste buds have gone weird on me. Last time it was green grapes, snow peas and some chicken. This time it’s pickled carrots, eggs and tomato sauced stuff and chicken. I’m not big on tomato sauce when I’m eating normal. Something about the bite of the vinegar and acid this time is appealing to me. I think I’ve gained weight, I can’t stop snacking on stuff but I think it’s to get rid of the ucky taste in my mouth. I even had a huge brunch of eggs, bacon and hashbrowns that I was able to cook all on my own 🙂 Wonder what I’ll be eating next time.

Food really sucks. Which sucks considering how much I love food. So far scrambled eggs, grapes and the pickled carrots and garlic I made before all this started are the only things that are good. I so want to tasted a steak cooked to perfection and love it or a piece of chocolate that doesn’t tasted like rancid oil.
Today my knees still hurt, still popping pills for it, but why not? No need to be totally uncomfortable when I can turn it down a bit to a slow burn with Tylenol. My hips are ok, the scar is still annoying. Most of all today it’s the fatigue that is getting me. No energy at all to do anything but feeling like I want to do something other than lay on the couch dozing all day.

I’m taking Tylenol again for pain. It’s only in my knees and my scar, not my hips. It’s not as bad as last time but still makes it hard to walk and getting comfortable is out of the question. The icky taste in my mouth is stronger this time. I can’t seem to get rid of it which is making me snack more, but the taste of food sucks. A few more days and I’ll be back to ‘normal’ again hopefully.