I’m calmer today.  Not feeling as desperate or disconnected.  It still nails me between the eyes that this is really happening.  I really DO have cancer and really am having major surgery.  But it didn’t nail me as often today.  And I am more in control of my emotions.  And I know I can do this and come out the other side stronger.

And a coworker is designing a tattoo for me for when this is all over.  It will be the breast cancer pink ribbon and a white butterfly.  It will be a reward for me.  Something to look forward to at the end of this journey.