Every day, little by little, I’m coming to terms with all this.  Today I think is the first day I haven’t wanted to cry.  Is it surrender?  Possibly.  I’ve played out every scenario that can happen with all this.  The worst would be radiation, chemo, and problems with the implants.  The best?  No radiation or chemo and a very speedy recovery.  Whatever happens in the end I will have to deal with.  And I will deal with it.  Most days for me it’s hard to be positive, I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop but having cancer is forcing me to see more good in everything and not the bad.  That may well be one of the best things that comes out of all this.