It shook me up at one point today, that people die from this.  I struggled with that for a few minutes then went back to my internal manta-I’m not dying, I only have breast cancer.  Let’s hope it stays at the mantra.

My appointments on Monday are causing me some anxiety.  Am I gonna regret my decision?  Am I doing the right thing?  What’s it gonna be like to hand pick my own boobies?  Will I make the right choice?  I still am really wanting to know when my surgery date is and how long my down time will be, but I also know that every decision that I make causes my fight or flight to kick in and I just want to run away and hide.  “Play ostrich” as my sister says.

I saw a t-shirt today on a website that says ‘Yes they’re fake! the real ones tried to kill me’.  Me thinks I’ll buy me one.