It’s hard not to feel depressed.  It’s even harder to fight it enveloping me into a big black blanket.  The thoughts that swirl through my head really take on a ‘poor me’ feel and I don’t like it.  I had my nails done today.  I get them done once a month, and they’re acrylic and flamboyant and I like them that way.  It may be the last time I get them done for a while, they may need to be removed for chemo.  Another thing taken away from me by cancer.   But I’ll find out.  And maybe the article I read is outdated.  I went grocery shopping today and was trying to figure out what I’ll be able to make when I  don’t have the use of my left arm, being left-handed.  Soup?  I can nuke that, but will I be able to open it?  Salad?  Maybe if I pre-cut all the fixins for it before the surgery.  I’m not even sure what I’ll feel like eating.  And why bother buying hairspray or shampoo?  I may lose my hair.  I know millions of women have gotten through this, including the females of my family.  I know I’m going to get through this.  But it’s really difficult fighting the negative thoughts that seem to fly right along with the cancer.