My grandmother’s memorial is today. Sorry I can’t be there Gran. I’ll miss you and I’ll always tell the stories that remind me of you, fresh cows milk, sows chasing me and the real way to butcher a chicken among a few.
Saw my surgeon today. My scars are fine, it’s a reaction to the chemo that I’ll have to live with. She’s suggested I massage them with cream. She offered up sleeping pills again. This time I bit. I so need to sleep longer than 2 hours at a stretch. I know it’s causing me more fatigue and crying than I’d be doing under normal conditions. I need sleep and energy. A side effect of the sleeping pills? A metallic taste in my mouth. Ya. I already have that thanks. More won’t matter if I get more sleep. I’ve got gum to deal with the taste. ‘Bout the only good I see in all this right now is I’m one of the lucky ones and am not ‘vomiting’. Besides that? Sorry, don’t see any benefit to all this at this point. I did not bargain for a week here and there of feeling good and the rest, feeling really crappy.