I haven’t really eaten much in the last few days outside of green grapes and sugar peas. They seemed to be the only things that even remotely tasted like food that didn’t carry a smell or require preparation of some sort. A friend was kind enough to bring me over some Chinese last night that for some reason I was craving. Thank you!
So I went to sleep last night without a sleeping pill, woke up 45 minutes later and took one. I woke up twice but that little pill grabbed my brain and put me back to sleep immediately with this really weird way of having me count sheep. Sorta. I saw a wall of shelves with pristine, shiny white blob like sculptures on them. My mind starting filling in the blank spots with red blobs. When that started, I felt content and went back to sleep. Really weird but somehow prophetic? My white and red blood cells rejuvenating themselves? Anyway, I slept until 7am. So that’s about 6 hours of real sleep. Finally. My state of mind is a little better for it, though my scars still feel tight and I still can’t sit or stand for any length of time without getting uncomfortable. The bone pain is also just a whisper today. I’ve got 2 weeks to get into a frame of mind where I’ll even go to the next chemo treatment. If I had to go today I’d have a meltdown. This is all too much. Seriously.