I almost feel normal today besides the phantom itches.  My left side is still tight but that’ll loosen up, I think as soon as the scab is gone and the skin can stretch.  But these phantom feelings are weird and annoying.  I get an itch, go to scratch and there’s nothing there.  And the numbness.  I try to forget what’s happened but I’m reminded every time I move.  I’m so not looking forward to more surgery.  I wish I could snap my fingers and just have it all over with.  I’ve been trying to come to terms with the fact that there’s a good chance I’ll lose my hair if I have chemo and I can’t get there.  It just really makes me sad.

So in order of fears:  the next round of surgery, losing my hair and stopping smoking.